So, Maya, how was Temple? Well... it's sort of hard to discribe all the things it was. 'Weird' doesn't go far enough to describe how I felt.

What none of us knew, was that it was going to be a song service. I'd like to remind everyone that the last time I sang a Hebrew song... I was 13, and it was the Hatikvah - so that doesn't really count. The previous time I'd sung a Hebrew song was, well, I'm not sure. I probably did some singing at the family services when I was eight and nine, but the last time I actually recall opening my mouth, singing, and knowing what I was singing... Um, I think I was five.

FIVE.

I was even younger when I sang Shabbat songs in Jewish school. And yet, prayers and songs I hadn't sung in twenty years were dug out of my early childhood memories, mostly rellegated to my subconscious these days, and I sang them. And I remembered them. And it made me cry.

In reading the translations beside the Hebrew (that I cannot read), I realised that a lot of what is sung, I don't believe. It's not the faith or the absolute belief in God, that I don't believe in, because I certainly do have faith, and I certainly do believe in a higher power, rather the way in which it directs these things. I was pleased to note, however; that where in many writings (even the reformed writings), where it normally would say 'forefathers' leaving the mothers right out of it, this one mentioned Sarah, along with Abraham, etc. Yay, for equal representation.

Following the Shabbat service, which was... nice, we receited Kiddush and drank the wine and broke the bread. There was also a light dinner of hummus and pita and various salads and fruits to eat (yummy, stuff). There were some interesting people there, though, mostly everyone was in the upper age group (it was for 20-30s), or older. Weird. Susan and I were agreed that it was a bit of a Jewish meat market, with these older men accosting us with discussions of politics. I sat with Hillary (like Clinton, she said), the Rabbi's wife for a while. Apparently Rabbi Goldberg and his wife are Brooklyn Jews too ! Anyway, politically and intellectually, she was very good conversation. I had begun to believe that Jews were making a slide toward the right, but it seems that American Jews remain as left-wing as ever. However, I thought it tactful and best, not to bring up Israel, even with her. I'm really on the wrong side of that one, it seems. We were all invited to a pro-Israel rally, but you know? BAD ISRAEL. Israel is good. What Israel is doing is... less good.

Seeing Anne was interesting too. Apparently, despite she and Annabelle having been best friends for most of their lives, Annabelle has become 'too good' for Anne, cutting her out of her life. Sick. Especially since this happened following Anne's spinal injury. Anne was hit by a car while finishing up her dissertation in Paris, and had to come home. Now she walks with a brace and two canes, hunched over because the rods in her back were placed poorly. Anne seems to be dealing with it well, and healing, slowly. She's strong, you know? We never were friends in highschool, but I have an enormous amount of respect for Anne, and after seeing her last night for the first time in a year and a half, my esteem for her has only grown.

I ended up having to bail on my nacho date with Justin, not that he hasn't bailed on me before... regularly. Afterward, Anne went off with her older male groupies to a cafe, and I went with Susan and her friend, Suzy (I kid you not), back to her house to look at some old photos and chat.

It was an interesting evening, and we all agreed that we'd go back, though not necessarily to the one at Holy Blossom, just because the crowd was a little too old for us. Apparently, the one held downtown has a much younger group, which isn't surprising, since most 20-30s Jews have left North Toronto in favour of living downtown. They do eventually move back uptown when they have a family, of course, but uptown is boring for the young professional intellectual. All in all, it was an interesting and kind of fun night.

The Powers that Be have sent me another message, in the form of a migraine headache. All my stress about needing to get my assignments done for today, for school, became moot as I came down with the fully fledged headache sometime around 11pm last night. I'd developed some very low-grade pain while at work, but the insanely busy day kept me somewhat distracted. Unfortunately, by the time I discovered that West Wing was a rerun, and opted to vege unhealthily in front of "Behind the Music: Megadeth", I was starting to feel my brain chug to a halt.

I should have known what was coming when all day at work I was knocking things over and having communication problems. My co-ordination always goes through the tubes just before a migraine, and my sense of smell heightens. I was smelling fumes that no one else was smelling:

"Do you smell butane?"
"No, why?"
"I swear I can smell butane."
"Weird. Maybe close the door."
"Ya, good idea."

It did not help, either, that when I went to bed nice and early (well, for me - around 12:30am), Willi insisted on demonstrating all of the unique paw-to-paw passes that she'd taught herself lately. I have never seen her play with her stinky spotted mouse as much in one 12 hour period as she did last night. All over my bed. I wanted to kill her. NOW she's sleeping. What is wrong with cats? Why do they think 9am is the appropriate bed time? Are they all secretly university arts students? Yeesh.

Anyway, I'm off to Rick's tonight. I feel pretty lame, but I need to see him. I miss him. *sigh* I know, I know. Also, he'll get to take care of me, tonight, too, which he likes to do. I never let him, usually prefering to suffer alone in silence. We're going to watch "The Princess Bride", too, which is nice, cause he wanted to watch "Aliens", but I've been sort of in bad spirits, and he knows how much I love TPB. Awwww.

I'll have to come back to my place in the morning to get ready for work at Heretic. I'll have to dress nicely, too, because from there, I'm heading straight to Susan's house (an old friend from highschool). From there, we're off to Holy Blossom Temple to go to a special Hanukkah service for 20-30ish people. Wacky. I haven't been to synagogue in something like eleven years.

School is wonderful today. I think I can safely say that I've gotten the hang of basic modeling - both NURBs and polys. I'm so excited. Alloisius is ready to be clothed ! His ears are perfect, his mouth can open now, he has nostrils, and his shoes look a bit more shoe-like now. And he looks so unimpressed. With everything ! Daniele just went over how to model eyes with me just. One. More. Time.

Things are progressing beautifully. I'm proud !

Fog. Lots of fog today. I like fog, generally, as it obscures everything and gives an air of mystery. Fog is like a bridge between realities - I think it allows people to cross over into other realms. That concept has been with me since childhood. I was so pleased back when I first read "The Mists of Avalon" because that is exactly what M.Z.B. did with fog in her novel. Anyway, it's a mysterious day. Not Christmassy, still, but nice. Since it's still way too warm for snow, I'll settle for fog. I'd rather have snow now, but well, I'm not in control of the weather.

I mailed off my packages today, so now all I have to get done are my cards. I fear I'll be a little late on the Hanukkah cards, this year, but what can you do? It all sort of snuck up on me really fast, what with all this warm weather. Christmas is only 20 days away, which is crazy ! It's been this way for the last month. Everyone has been putting off their shopping and general festivity for the same reason... it's damn warm ! This shopping thing doesn't really apply to me, however; as I start mine in August. I've got my gifts for Rick, Megan (the one in Toronto), Tracy, and as I said, I've mailed gifts to my sisters and Megs-in-Philly. I've got to burn some discs for some of my MUD friends, and finish shopping for Mom, but I'm pretty well all done. Go me !

It's a school day, today, and this is where I am. I got a lot of excellent work done on Alloisius this past Saturday, but I need to fix his shoes and I need to detatch and reaffix them...

**time lapse of 15 minutes**

Okay, I just got help from Daniele and now Alloisius' ears are sexy. I'll tweak them a bit once I've finished fixing his shoes. I'm not sure I've said, but I've applied to TA here next semester. I think I'd be a good one, just because I learn differently from everyone else so I bring an alternate kind of thought process to the programme. Not since highschool (yes, I did like Northern) have I enjoyed school. I love it here. I love what I'm learning, and I love the people. There were hardly any individual classes at UofT for which I could say the same.

I can name off the professors and their courses that I really enjoyed, and when you realise how many credits I graduated with, you see how few and far between the enjoyment was. There was Patricia Howard and her Shakespeare and After class, and EVERY class I had with Alexander Nagel, and with Mac Johnston, and Nicholas Turpstra's social renaissance histories, and Margaret McGeachy's English 101, or whatever number it was. In five years, that's not so great of a record. Ten courses out of the 35 or 40 that I took. Congrats, UofT, on nearly optimum suckage.

There's a good deal that I can write about today, but I haven't really felt much like writing at all. Does that make me suck?

I woke up to the unpleasant news that Israel is retaliating in no uncertain terms against the Palestinians. I wonder, will it ever end? How can two groups of people despise each other so much? Or is it truly a situation where they have been fighting each other for so long that they don't even know how to relate? It saddens me.

On a positive note, I wrapped up my sisters' presents for shipping tomorrow, as well as my friend Megan (the one in Philadelphia) 's present. I did a half assed job on Megs' gift, but she'll understand. My attentions are better placed on other things than whether I can find wrapping paper. I don't have my Christmas lights on tonight, though, because I don't really feel very festive.

I'm not in a bad mood, per se, but I'm thoughtful, pensive, perhaps. The best remedy for that will be sleep. I'll do that soon. I'm just presently downloading some medieval music and gothic music (specifically trying for a song called "Lady Rosenred") and I'll go to bed soon enough.