I get the feeling that I have some sort of house fairy who is set upon mussing things up and discombobulating my life. Now, I am not referring to the cats, as they have similar habits (we call it "helping"), I mean an invisible something or other that has but one desire - chaos. Generally speaking, this isn't a problem as I lead a life that must be satisfyingly chaotic for the little bugger, but what with my very 9-5 existence of late and how little time I spend hanging around at home (and I don't mean when I'm asleep), this is obviously too much. So, no matter how I seem to set my alarms for the morning, something messes me up. This morning, my clock did not go off and neither did my stereo. My stereo goes off -every- morning. So, I woke up when a colleague called me asking if I was planning on coming into work today. Of course, said I, confused as to why she'd be phoning. Duh. When I hung up, it hit me and I glanced at my stereo. It was flashing *7:10* every other second and I realised that the fuse or switchbreaker had gone... again. This is the third time in less than two weeks that the power has failed in the five minutes before my stereo was set to go off. While I could continue to blame my pleasant, but slightly inept landladies, I feel that it's hard to accept three outages like that so close together. Besides, it's neat to imagine that I have a house elf of some sort. I'd leave it some treats if the cats could be relied upon not to eat them. One can never rely on a cat.

With school looming on the end-of-August horizon, I have found myself daydreaming about my future. I've pretty well spent the last two years thinking no further ahead than a week or two, especially this past year. Living hand-to-mouth really cuts into plans for the future as it is incredibly difficult to imagine a time when you won't be poor and could actually afford things such as an education (or even paying rent on time). It's nice to have something to work toward again. Back in highschool, I was working toward getting into university. Then, in university, I was working toward a degree (though, mostly toward getting OUT of university again). I like having goals. Granted, I'm not always very good at finishing the things I start, and I have been known to screw myself with a deep-rooted sense of failure, but now that I've lived hand-to-mouth and generally devoid of purpose, I think it's safe to say I WANT to go back to school. I WANT to have plans for my future.

So that rambling paragraph is really to introduce my new understanding of self. Right? Sure. I've felt that things have turned around for me. The changes haven't been on a grand scale, but they have been very positive and have really reminded me of the possibilities I have open to me. Working in Eternal Egypt was one of the best jobs, most fulfilling jobs I've ever had. It was brief and the hours were not very long, but it was almost entirely an exciting learning experience. It reminded me that I like to learn. It highlighted that I learn best when it's experiential and when I get to confirm it by imparting that knowledge onto others. Working at the ROM, I see the plans for its future and I cringe. I can look back and know what worked in the past and have a pretty solid idea of how to make things work once again. It took a lot of waffling in the Arts for me to finally decide where I'd like to go, but I think I've figured it out. I've moved through interests that ranged quite broadly, but in the end, I always end up trying to point them to the Arts. Well, duh. It's hard to apply art history to horses. Let's look at these interests - Archaeology (specifically Egypt, Greco-Roman, western historical... the very arty of the field), Art History (enough said), computer animation (for game and film ART), illustration, antiques, auctions, galleries and museums... Need I go on?

Right, so what do I want to do with myself (considering my dream of being an Olympic Equestrian has been put on indefinite hold)? I would like to make museums and galleries, public arts institutions, if you will, accessible to everyone. Theoretically, they usually consider themselves accessible, but often this idea doesn't go past wheelchair ramps. Then there is the problem of museums dumbing themselves down in the erroneous idea that this will make their institution more accessible to the masses. My desire is to work as a consultant in the museum field where I can help the different institutions structure their exhibits (travelling, rotating, permanent, hands-on, etc.) to engage all different types of audiences without appealing to the lowest common denominator. It's lofty, I know, but there is not only a niche that should be filled, many museums are in desperate need of sensible restructuring, not to name names... I have my eye on the education I will need to attain in order to reach this goal and I think I have a good idea of the steps that I'll need to take. It's exciting. It's like being on the cusp of something...

Cuspy.

Today it is cloudy and muggy and the sky threatens to repeat last night's stormy performance. "Did you wake up last night?" was the question most asked this morning in regard to the thunder and lightning that blasted through Toronto. I was awake as the storm began, the rumbling at first distant. The thing about me is that I really enjoy storms. I fell soundly asleep as it gathered strength and when my colleagues were being woken up, I was blissfully unaware. I imagine that this opposite response must stem from my childhood memories of my cottage and New York. The first because the storms were so dramatic and exciting and my cottage was so cozy and apparently safe; the second because of the wild colours the lightning used to flash, thanks to the strange light and particulate pollution in the air over New York. Even though I have very little memory of thunder scaring me, it must have. It scares all young children for a while.

I had an eventful weekend, sort of, at Toronto Trek. I was there working for Nicole who was down East. Our fear that her groupies (the ones who only ever want to speak to her, get measured by her, or give their money to her) would refuse to do business with me were somewhat alleviated as after initial disappointment, they latched themselves to me like they were some large, humanoid lamprey. For Nicole, the show was very bad. Sales were well below average, but I got the feeling that attendence was down, too. For me, on the other hand, the convention was quite exciting. My teeshirts were a great hit and I scored a wee contract to provide a dozen of them to the Hairy Tarantula, one of Toronto's better loved gaming shops. I also could net a contract to provide shirts to a huge group of fen so that they can wear them down at a big convention in Georgia. If that one goes through, I won't have a choice but to have them printed professionally. Beyond this, there is also a possibility that I'll be doing some wedding invitations for friends of Nicole. We shall see. Nothing is for sure except the deal with the Tarantula.

I spent last night working on Zoltan the Adequate's sign for the Renaissance Faire. I sealed the wood so it's now ready for painting and I have enough sealer left over (plus a different kind, as well) for when I'm finished. I started playing with fonts in PhotoShop and have settled on a very nice design for the main text. Tonight, I will set up the smaller text. Rather than free-hand all the writing onto the wood, I'm going to make stencils to apply so that I don't muss up the proportions. I don't want to lay out a grid because I'm not sure if I'll be able to erase the guidelines when I'm done. Anyway, it's all an exercise in creativity and I am confident that I will have it finished, at latest, on Sunday.