Not so festive spirit

This time last year, I was struggling with spending my first 'stmas away from home, up in the Yukon. It was a nice enough time with friends up there, but I desperately missed being surrounded by old friends and family. As you can imagine, I was quite excited for this year's holidays because I'd be home again. Unfortunately, my delight has been tempered by a schedule too busy for card-making and most recently, sad news.

Two close friends of the family are in hospital. One is in varying health, up one day, down the next. She might be dying. It's unclear. The other is my mother's best friend, Julie, who has always been like a close aunt to me. She was just admitted to hospital with kidney stones for which they may have to operate. This is the same Julie who had the massive stroke a few years back. Julie's latest health concern was almost too much for my mother to process as only two days before, we'd heard from another close friend's husband...

Saturday morning, we lost a close friend to what was apparently cardiac arrest. While none of us were surprised by her death - alcoholism had been taking its toll for some time - the timing and how quickly it happened were pretty shocking. We have been estranged from this friend and her husband for a couple of years now as the drinking was almost intollerable. In recent months, there had even been discussion among other mutual friends about an intervention. For almost a decade, my family, another family and this couple had done Christmas dinner together. She was welcoming to my mother when my mom first moved to Peterborough and helped my mother when she had her stroke. It's been a tragic decline watching as the booze changed her. An autopsy is being conducted on her and I won't be at all shocked if it comes back that she had more than just alcohol in her system. You don't drink the way she did if you're happy with your life. What a terrible waste of an intelligent, funny woman.

I pray that our hospitalised friends regain their health and return to their normal lives for the new year. It might be selfish, but I admit I don't know if I can handle more than one funeral over the holidays.

Other than that, I'll be spending my time with my mother and with close friends. My cats are already in Peterborough visiting their 'cousin' Willy. Apparently, they're getting along all right. I plan on writing my final paper of the taught portion of my degree, which is due the 7th of January, as well as putting together a workplan for the upcoming exhibits at ML. I should probably write my draft for the exhibition, too. So, I'll be busy, but at least I'll be able to sleep in.

I sincerely hope your holiday is full of love and good health. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, etc.

B:38 Something a bit more serious

I promised I'd talk about some of the things that have effected my life over the last few months. Hell, I never even finished writing about my holidays with Gareth or anything. I've been a shitty blogger in the last couple of years.

But in the more recent past, the last entry I posted was about nasty Mr. Jerry Falwell who died. More importantly to my life, a very close friend of the family died in May. Some of you may remember in 2003 when I went to New York because Robert passed away. His father, Alfred, was one of my mother's closest friends and she was a foundational person in Robert's life.

Alfred died in May. My mother went to New York in the last two weeks of his life. Initially, it was to help get his place cleaned up for his return in case he needed to get in home care, etc., but by the end, it was clear that he would not be coming home. He died the night after she left.

I dropped everything and got a travel agent to find me a "reasonable" flight from Whitehorse to New York. It was very expensive, but less than had I booked it myself. Half the price, in fact.

Going back to New York, staying in Alfred's apartment... without Alfred... it was very discomforting. I spent nearly no time in the living room because that is where he and I would have been hanging out laughing and talking if it were a normal visit. I stayed holed up in the guest room, formerly Robert's bedroom. There was no Alfred, no Robert, no cat... it was so strange.

And it was not only a goodbye to a beloved friend, but to a neighbourhood. A home away from home. I might write more about this... I don't know. I still hurt thinking about it.

In the last couple of weeks, Don, Alfred's close friend, and ours, too, closed up the apartment and turned in the keys.

It hurts my heart. I don't think I can write any more about this right now.