Hi. Uh, here.

Best google search that ever hit my site:

I don't get spam. I do get viruses, though, mostly in my old uoft account. Here's a virus that had a truly weird payload. Good thing Mail.app doesn't execute, uh, Windows virii.

I'd like to make a movie some day. Here is part of the script:

Standing with two other people at the edge of a glassy surface high atop an office building. The area is fenced in, with razorwire, and suspended over the glassy surface are bags stuffed full of something. The discussion is about the contents of the bags: source data for student evaluations. Not classwork sorts of things, but data about students. Incredibly sensitive data - they can't even release studies of it, they just record the data and then hide it here. Lots of people try to get to the data, because of its value, but it happens to be very difficult. There is a cold wind coming from the glassy surface.

The Main Character, played by Brad Pitt with his hair dyed black, decides to walk out onto the surface to try to reach one of the bags. The two people he is with scoff at his presumptuousness, as they stay back to work on the computers there at the edge.

Halfway towards one of the bags, the glassy surface begins to divide into clear hexagonal tiles, and the tiles begin to quickly sink. It's apparent that the surface is only an inch or so thick, it's not clear how it holds together. They drop faster and faster, and the tiles near the tiles that are sinking start to sink as well. Soon the entire surface has fallen away, taking TMC with it. About four feet down from where the surface was, he is lost in a black fog.

After a quick fade to black, he is standing with his two coworkers at the edge of the surface once more. They laugh and chide him for his foolishness. TMC is not daunted, and strides boldy out onto the surface again. The same thing happens, but this time we only hear the cold sliding of the tiles, as the camera is focused on one of the coworkers, who has a thick beard. He is staring at the computer screen, and smiling. We cannot see the screen.

Fade to black, and return to TMC standing with the coworkers. TMC is visibly chilled, and frost has collected on his black uniform. For three minutes, he stands, trying to warm himself. For these three minutes, the camera cuts between him rubbing his arms and torso and legs to warm them up, and a POV of him looking at each of the bags in turn.

Once he is warm, something moving just below the surface of the ... surface catches the eye of TMC. It seems to be the figure of a man, just visible through the glassy shine of the surface. A man who drops out of sight, only to reappear once more just below the surface and drop again. TMC calls attention to this, and the two coworkers, both of whom are now standing grinning at the computer monitor, laugh and suggest that if TMC cares so much about helping people who are obviously just information thieves, he should help him himself.

TMC reaches down through the surface, which offers no resistance, and grabs the arm of the figure beneath. The man, while being pulled out, weighs almost nothing, and is set up to lean against the fence. The man is frozen solid, apparently. TMC wastes no time in attempting to revive him, but the coworkers shove TMC aside. One coworker holds the man from behind, while the other punches the man repeatedly in the chest.

Coworker two: "We have to [pause to strike the man] get his heart started again."

Coworker one: "He's probably been in there long enough to forget his address."

Coworker two: "Lets hope he remembers how to work his legs, so he can walk right in there again!"

They laugh as TMC looks on in horror. The man wakes up finally, and gasps. The coworkers immediately let go of him and turn back, grinning once more, to the computer. TMC walks over to the man.

The Man: "Thankyou, sir, that was not a choice adventure."

TMC: "Are you alright now? You were very cold."

The Man: "I'll be alri... aren't you? aren't you... you remind me of that man from that movie, the movie."

TMC: "I really don't know what you're talking about. [to the coworkers] We should get him home."

Coworker one: "We don't know where he lives."

TMC: "I'm sure he'd be happy to tell us."

The man, a grizzled old man in a suit, shakes his head sadly, as he pulls a business card out of his pocket. Rather than having a name and address, it has the following:

Name:
Address:
Phone Number:

but with none of them filled in. TMC takes the card, pulls out a pen, and writes something in it, starting with the address. 615 Sunrise Park.

The Man: "See? It *is* you. Thank you, sir, now I can go home."

Next scene: a cloying early evening, thick with summer. TMC is in a casual suit, all black, except that one sleeve of his undershirt is white, as a white cuff pokes out from his jacket sleeve on the left side. He is holding the card, and looking at a mansion on a hill. The wrought iron fence across the driveway has a clock face surrounded by a sunburst worked into it, and the clock says "6:15". TMC chuckles and walks towards it. As he walks towards the house, he passes a woman lying on the roof of a car. The camera angle is such that we cannot see her face, but we see the rest of her body and TMC walking past her. She is dressed provocatively, but is quite dirty. She is the Love Interest, but I suppose we wouldn't know that yet.

The Love Interest: "Hey, mister... spare some change so I don't have to rest my head on my nuts?"

TMC walks past her without acknowledging her request.

Once he is on the grounds of the mansion, which is thickly covered in bushes and eucalyptus trees, he notices a number of men dressed like butlers, walking around with backpacks and hoses, spraying the bushes with a bright red fluid. A woman rushes down the driveway towards TMC.

The Woman: "Why, my dear, finally! I've heard so much about you!"

TMC: "So he made it home safely, then?"

The Woman: "I... suppose so. But, please, let me show you the garage. I know that's why you came here."

TMC: "Alright."

TMC is confused by her suggestion of his intent, but follows her anyway. As they walk around the side of the mansion, a Humanoid Rabbit runs towards them. This rabbit is the size of an eight year old child, and runs on its hind legs. It has arms like a man, and hands. The woman screams.

The Woman: "Who said you could be here? No one said you could be here! Go! Get out of here! Shoo!"

She is nearly weeping with the force of emotion she's mustered, yet the rabbit seems entirely unfazed by her shouts. It runs past them, turning to look directly at TMC. It laughs, and runs off.

The Woman, to TMC: "We've been having problems with the rabbits. The whole city is, I'm sure you've heard of it. Whole parts of the city are flooded with girders because of these pests. And it's all because of the rabbit you just saw. But what can be done? It's covered in fur. You can't just tell it to stop."

TMC just nods in agreement. They walk through a bush, which streaks them with red fluid. On the other side of the bush are six or seven large rabbits - again, all the size of an eight year old child, but these are all entirely rabbit-like in form. They would be cute if they weren't so grossly oversized.

The Woman: "Here, watch - this one is about to pass."

She points out one particular rabbit, which squats down and grunts. From its back end, a rabbit turd and a small metal bar fall onto the ground.

The Woman: "The girders grow for about three hours afterwards. We've been spraying the bushes to try to poison them but they seem quite hardy. Oh, here's the garage."

As they push through another bush, there is a fade to black.

The garage is a shack on an alleyway. The mansion seems to have been left behind, as the alleyway is surrounded by two-story run-down houses like you would see in a slummy area of a major city. Rather than the thick summer-evening sounds of forest and birds in the mansion, there is the sound of traffic and shouting and cooking, and the light is early morning. "DON'T WAKE UP" is written in large letters on the side of the shack, except that "DON'T" is almost illegible from wear and weathering.

The Woman: "See? Do you remember painting that? You were just a little kid."

TMC: "No, I don't. And I don't see what that has to do with the money you owe me."

The Woman: "Oh, you're all business now, aren't you? I think you should leave."

TMC: "I think you should pay me the money you owe me."

The Woman, visibly agitated: "I could strike you dead where you stand!"

TMC: "I think you should pay me the money you owe me."

The woman walks over to the shack and throws open the garage door, screaming.

The Woman: "Well go on in, asshole! All the money you could ever want!

Fade to black.

I know, it's not real screenplay format, but the whole thing is still pretty early along. These two scenes are from right near the beginning.

other than getting kind of turned on during the cleaning my dentist visit went wonderfully! I have one small cavity on the first molar on the lower right side, but it's minor. Good gums, if a bit weakened from "overenthusiastic brushing". Almost no plaque. As they said, "Are you sure you haven't been in years? Not even visiting a hygenist?" I think I entertained everyone with my monkey-like inquisitive nature. I fiddled with stuff when they had their backs turned, and asked as many questions as I could. They want to get rid of my wisdom teeth, because although they're done growing, and I don't really have any sizing problems with them, the gums still cover the lower right one for the most part and food will keep getting in there and rotting, which explains my previous problems with sore-mouthfulness. The neat thing is that the roots (which you can kind of make out on the photo, above) on my wisdom teeth are shorter than those around them, so they'll be easy to remove.

As for that first weird comment, it was strange: I was just lying there and there was some lady rubbing my gums and rubbing my tongue (which felt awesome) and I just really relaxed and well it was weird. But after that even the scraping was sort of exciting. It's just so amazingly intimate, you know? I've always loved the idea of really exploring someone's body. And being explored. Maybe it's an offshoot of my egotism - both that I could maybe Know Someone by doing that, and that my own body could be That Interesting.

And yesterday I got a flu or something and threw up for a while.

Everyone's had this happen to them - you're in a relationship with someone that is going really well. You see each other regularly, even frequently, and there's no hint of strain or stress, or even boredom. Every time you see each other, you feel refreshed and invigorated afterwards, and you mull the experience over in your mind for days afterwards. But then, one day, out of the blue, you drop out of touch. It doesn't matter who was supposed to call whom, or who forgot to write the note, or whatever. Frankly, you can't even remember. Was it out of pride? Carelessness? It's been so long even those feelings have fallen by the wayside. It's hard to look back and see what happened, all you know is that there was something... and then there was nothing.

Maybe it means the relationship wasn't that important to start with ... and it was probably sour anyway! But maybe you're missing something important, and the reason you're having trouble sleeping is because a part of you is missing this person, aches for them...

Well, I've decided to do something about it: I'm going to the dentist today for the first time in about seven years.